I work with perfectionism among clients a lot, not just in relation to academic work but also in many walks of life and in relation to many facets of daily living.
In “Perfectionism: the modern scourge” I explained what is often going on and why; the constant striving for perfect, but that perfect is so often an unattainable goal. Here I explore a little further some of the diverse manifestations of this challenging issue.
Unhelpful strategies…..
Many of the coping strategies people adopt for trying to deal with perfectionism ironically often maintain and exacerbate their perfectionism, because they fail to address the root causes (beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviour etc). Perfectionism itself is an unhelpful coping strategy for anxiety so an unhelpful coping strategy for managing an unhelpful coping strategy isn’t very helpful! Here are just a few of the ways perfectionism can manifest itself:
Striving to be on top of everything e.g. doing well in all topic/modules in a degree course when that's not possible, sustainable or indeed expected. Or trying to be on top of everything at work and ‘perfect’ in everything required of you.
Over-rationalisation (that is makes sense to strive for perfection, even though perfection is not possible); unable to see the consequences as irrational, seeing them only as evidence that not trying hard enough, which reinforces a common underpinning core belief "I'm not good enough; I'm a failure":
“If only I could perfect perfectionism!”
“My perfectionism hasn't yet been honed enough otherwise I would be perfect!”
Making lists, over-planning - often employed as a way of trying to exert control (or a perception of control) over everything even over things you have no agency in or control over. Long to-do lists create anxiety that you haven’t completed everything - there’s a tendency to put everything on a list when actually only the most important things are worthy of being on a list. Otherwise this leads to a lack of flexibility when things don't go to plan, or are disrupted, and so more anxiety.
Obsessiveness can follow from lists and over-planning, when the desire to control becomes such a strong focus that the idea of just seeing how things play out becomes a complete anathema.
Loss of perspective - a focus on what are essentially trivial matters, the smallest of details but that assume huge importance to the extent that you can’t move on until that tiny detail is perfect. This lack of perspective means there is no broader context within which to view those tiny details, or awareness of things that are really important to you (your values) but that have ended up being squeezed out by things that really aren’t very important (this can follow from obsessiveness).
Worry and rumination - a dominance of thinking about the future (what-if questions) and the past (questions of why?); consequently little time is spent engaged in the present, the only place workable action can take place.
Striving v procrastination (anxiety) - avoiding starting on something so you can't fail. But all procrastination does is to put off the inevitable - temporarily you are distracted and may feel a bit less anxious, but it is always temporary and becomes a habit increasingly hard to shake off, without help - see my blog post on Procrastination: a waste of time?
More helpful alternative strategies……
If some of this resonates with you then be reassured that there are ways of resolving perfectionism and these include a raft of more helpful alternative strategies. You can change things and begin to reframe the way you deal with work and day to day life tasks, to let go of ‘perfect’ and embrace your values and the things you enjoy, while being much more able to cope with the other day to day admin.
Don’t hesitate to get in touch and make a first appointment for an assessment and conceptualisation session that can begin to uncover what is going on for you personally, and for us to then agree a tailored treatment programme that can work for you.
Bill Sheate
5 March 2025