Who am I?
For many at university it's a first real opportunity to explore your own sense of self or identity - who you are as an individual. And away from assumptions and expectations of you by longtime friends and family, or even of yourself in that previous context.
So what is important to you? What are your personal values, approach to work/life balance, hopes and dreams, desires, sexuality; what motivates you - what are you passionate about?
Studying at university can readily bump up against this exploration and discovery, sometimes conflicting, perhaps feeling different from peers, maybe isolated and lonely. Lots of questions and uncertainty about the past and future can arise and occupy increasing amounts of time, leading to anxiety and/or depression; worry in an endless search for certainty.
It doesn't have to be like this
I draw on a range of approaches within the broad CBH model, including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and metacognitive therapy (MCT), to explore personal values and sense of self as the context within which our thoughts and feelings take place. We are not the content of our thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness involves being able to observe our thoughts and feelings, to be more accepting of them and be more in the present moment rather than lost in thoughts.
“We are not the content of our thoughts and feelings”
Over time we may have developed an unconscious belief about ourselves that seems ‘true’ and is ‘believed’, but is not actually real and has become quite unhelpful.
As a starting point, you might like to look at some of my previous blog posts on topics like worry, procrastination, perfectionism, unwritten rules and awareness of self.
If they resonate, then CBH may be helpful for you - it doesn’t have to be like this.
Bill Sheate, 11 February 2020